How To Get Calm(er) When Things Get Real

Four portable somatic techniques you can use during a tense moment to manage your anxiety.

I’m going to the No Kings National Day of Action rally tomorrow afternoon in Philadelphia—maybe I’ll see you there. Philly’s gathering is expected to be one of the largest in the nation because there won’t be an event in D.C. due to the military parade. Our city is generally good at handling big demonstrations. However, a lot of folks I know are worried that this rally will be different, with disruptions by outside agitators provoking violence. We’re all a little grim and anxious.

I am weirdly calm in emergencies. But the rest of the time, I’m constitutionally anxious. Helpful for meeting deadlines but unhelpful during tense situations that are not full-blown disasters. I’m a nervous traveler, nervous walking past wand-waving security agents. I give the impression I’m hiding something when all I’m trying to hide is my anxiety that might look like I’m hiding something.

Over the years, I’ve developed a toolbox of small, eminently portable somatic techniques that calm my physical body, and therefore my brain, during tense episodes.

These will help you, too. I promise:

1. LENGTHEN YOUR EXHALES.

The GOAT, tried-and-true, easiest breathing hack that will quickly reverse a physical panic. Here’s why it works: When you lengthen your exhale, the carbon dioxide in your blood increases, which helps to send you into the parasympathetic nervous system.

Here’s how: Inhale through your nose to the count of four. Pause, then exhale through your nose to the count of eight (If you feel any breath hunger, stop exhaling and take a breath.) Tip: if exhaling to a count of eight feels like too much in the moment, try exhaling to a count of six or even four.

2. OCEAN-SOUNDING BREATH.

Also known as whisper breath, victorious breath, and Ujjayi breath, this yogic pranayama technique warms the muscles of the throat and stimulates the vagus nerve to help down-regulate the nervous system. The ocean sound in your ears is grounding and calming.

Here’s how to find it: Inhale through your nose, then exhale with a soft “haaa” like fogging a mirror. Keeping that sensation in your throat (physically, you’re narrowing the glottis), close your mouth and inhale through your nose, creating the ocean sound. Exhale through your nose, and continue breathing slowly. You can combine this with your 4:8, 4:6, and 4:4 breathing.

3. 360-DEGREE BREATHING.

Stress-breathing is shallow, fast, and high—instead of breathing deeply with your diaphragm, you pull in air through the auxiliary breathing muscles of your neck and chest. It’s designed for emergencies, like running after a train or away from a predator. In times of anxiety, the body defaults to shallow breathing, leaving you air-starved and anxious. The breathing techniques above will help to slow your breathing down. Next level is to fill your lungs and give your body the oxygen it needs to get through the moment.

Try it: Sitting or standing, bring your ribcage over your pelvis, and find your sitting bones with your mind’s eye. As you inhale through your nose, let your sitting bones widen (this will release your pelvic floor and equalize your core pressure. Imagine the air filling you from the bottom up. Now exhale—from the bottom up. Your sitting bones will naturally narrow. Repeat through several cycles, then let it go. If your chest-breathing returns do the exercise again.

4. LATERAL EYE MOVEMENTS.

If you’re in a place where you can stand still or sit, try some lateral eye movements: Face straight ahead with a soft gaze, then slowly move your eyes from left to right to left. Try to keep the eye movements smooth. Here’s why it works: Lateral eye movements activate the orienting reflex, telling your brain that all is clear; you’re not in danger. Because the left and right visual fields are processed by different hemispheres (left by right; right by left), this rhythmic scanning helps synchronize activity between the two sides of the brain, promoting a sense of integration and calm.

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